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JimmyC
So I’m in the movie theatre and 4 girls walk in and sit one seat away from me in the same row. Its Batman - The Dark Knight. The kind of movie I like to get lost in. 30 minutes to go in the movie and the girl closest to me pulls out her blackberry with a backlight and starts tapping away. I figure - important message from her boyfriend that his wedgie got stuck and he needed help. Then 15 minutes to go and she pulls it out again, the freaking climax of the movie and what the hell is so freaking important!? I actually got up and moved over 5 seats (away from the awsome center seat I had).
When the lights come on we all leave, only one girl leavs her slurpie cup and empty bag of popcorn on the seat.
Generation Y? Generation Why? Generation Me! Well, we were just as bad - my father was right.
Study finds students narcissistic
These kid’s parents were the "boomers" - the original ME generation. My parents were one each - before and after the boom. I think the difference is that the Boomers were much more physically connected to each other (in many ways) and that led to much more empathy and consideration where the mood of this generation is social but disconnected as they communicate via technology rather then woodstock, wine bars and anti-war rallies. The boomers did end up a bit too selfish during the 80’s and 90’s but they did create a boom in the economy - maybe this generation will help us tweenies get out of the dip we are in now. I hope, there aren’t enough of me right now to support all those retiring boomers!. But first, they have to get their heads out of their computers, read less and get a little dirty. Its one thing to talk about hope, rail in your blog (smile) and complain about the evil empire; its another thing to contribute to the economy, walk among those of us actually working for a living and to give leadership to the next generation by creating wealth and prosperity through something more then temporary fixes and wealth redistribution. In too short of a time there won’t be much to redistribute - it will all be in India and China.
Just finished it - the last few chapters pulled me so far in it woke me up. Ellen’s light is on; Maia carries my light. She will someday carry my Talisman. Never can despair overcome the hope of the light in a child. Good stuff.
I love reading Walt’s tech column in the WSJ, not just because he is also a Mac fan but also because he always has a positive and enlightening approach to most subjects, even techie ones. Today I found his weblog and this is a great article on a positive situation in Israel and Jordan. Here Walt talks about the fact that the peace process between the two countries is working and it is possible for the people of both countries to not only get along but work together: Peace in the Mideast, With Great Cellphone Coverage . I think this is wonderful and a model for the possibilities. I wonder if it’s possible for cooperation someday as there is in Asia between Japan, China and the other countries in Asia who for centuries were sworn enemies. Japan is the economic powerhouse and the countries around have learned from them, trade with them and now are on equal ground. Would you call Korea Jordan? I’ve written here how most of these Arab countries are simply extensions of kingdoms. How I feel that the borders are fabrications and simply the result of previous empires leaving - England, France, Rome, Persia, Greece - all built these borders. Are there really Jordanians, Palestinians, Kuwaitis, Iraqis, Israelis? Or are these people from ancient times in kingdoms that replaced empires, countries created out of convenience or voids. Foreign countries drew these lines after world wars. We do know there are Persians, Arabs and Jews, Kurds, Hindus, etc. These are cultures that could be countries; but that’s another topic.
What I can say is Walt hit the nail on the head - a border is just a crossing and it can be a gateway to discovery and possibilities when your perspective is positive. Thanks Walt for stepping out of the box, tapping your experience and shedding some light and love.
Remember Sept. 11, 2001.  The other day Maia (my 12 year old) was doing an assignment on this terrible event for school. She had hit the site September 11 Digital Archive and was reading some stories and/or pictures to find one that most “moved” her. I came down to see her crying and Daniel (her brother) not really understanding what was wrong.  She had read a story about 11 firefighters that had died in the rescue attempt and she was devastated.  I love my children and can only protect them for now but give them what they need to make it in the world - whatever world its like when they are in my shoes.  I hope we all do what we can to change things so this never happens again, whether its at a national level if you have the power or in your home teaching what is right and wrong - to change your world. Peace.Â
I wish I could write what I’m feeling right now. Previous related posts: what keeps you up at night Or better yet:  the ground is dark..  Lets just say my passion and my patience at “work” are at odds right now.
Swift Sweet Rush by Jim Charanis
Took a bunch at Maia’s recital but this one of her and her friend running across the bridge in euphoric enthusiasm before the performance was candid. Funny how things work out - life is what happens when you are making plans.
Daniel only wanted to run two miles today. He joined me for the first mile up the hill and we ran back home, then I went back up it a little further and back home. I was Sad he isn’t into it as much anymore. He is concerned about play time with friends after school. Homework, running, friends, - not enough time during the school year. Choices for a 10 year old “dad, I’m a kid!”
He doesn’t practice his football, never really did with Soccer. I don’t know how these other kids do it; playing with friends must involve sports all the time. No way they can be that good at this age without it. When does the committment start for those that achieve greatness, is it an instinct to compete and an early maturity to do the work early to get there? Is it a lack of other choices, in the poor neighborhoods? Is it a gift from God?
When does a parent push, back off, go with them, leave them alone? Nobody wants thier kid to hate them, nobody wants thier kid to look back and say why didn’t you push me? This is true of Maia’s Ballet, Sophia’s Gymnastics - homework, whatever! My work is a breeze compared to being a leader for my kids.
This is an image of my professional and financial life right now.
At Retail Delivery this week I saw old friends, old contacts, felt old memories. People who had taken risks and were now very wealthy, starting the next company. People who make the consistent cash and were moving forward, continuing to do so.
In my life, I see the blue sky but the ground before me is unclear like these foothills at dusk in Arizona. Do I take the path and work through it? My hair is grey and falling out. My weight is gaining and my knee is hurting again. I’m struggling right now:
Trial and task, move ahead, move through it, move to it.
Okay, I’m 41 now. The next ten years are to be my best. What can I do? I have been working for 20 and now I have 20 more to go. I’m not where I thought I would be but I still can get there.
The ground is dark,
the sky is blue,
the choice is there,
what will I do?
Perhaps I have breathed a word about my loss too much… if this is the next step towards my next chance of pitch-and-toss…
On an airplane on my way from ATL to Las Vegas
What do you believe - on being Jewish from a mixed background. Is it your culture, a religion, inspired or required?
Reading Walking the Bible by Bruce Feiler I’m remembering the stories I have read for years, as Bruce did to start the journey – wondering if they were history or myth, fact or fiction. On page 184 he finally confronts the “main character†God. Up until this point he has been covering historical figures like a news reporter tracing clues and places, situations and opinions. Between Sa el-Hagar and the Suez Canal – on the journey to the parting of the Red Sea he recants Gods change from working through people in the bible to a direct commandment that we observe Passover to remember the Exodus.
Now I’m back to my persistent discontent with Judaism, Not the Judaism of the Reform movement to some extent, but tradition. If Reform is inclusive – making it more of a religion then a culture. If it is what I once learned of Napoleon’s nationalistic command to the French Jews – If you are Frenchmen first and Jews second, then you are free to stay. A nationality within a nationality doesn’t work – it breeds jealousy, exclusion and hatred. It prevents a leader from total control as well. And this may be the biggest problem for Jews through history – the same force that has held the culture together, the religion together, is the same force that has made so many to hate the Jews. For most cultures do not allow for both - most countries controlled their people with Religion.
So for me this is my biggest source of discontent. For so many Jews – bloodlines are important. Most will say it is to combat assimilation – and the eventual disappearance of the Jewish people and faith. Some gentiles say it is an arrogance and source of exclusionary power designed to consolidate wealth and power – a wealth and power within each society they live that is a club few really can join. I have the bloodline – it’s thin but it is valid. My mother’s mother was a ‘purebred’ Jew – if that makes sense. My father is a ‘purebred’ Greek – if that makes sense. But how can it make sense – how can it be possible or probable. All cultures blend, my mother’s father is Italian – or Sicilian, really. He is the only of my grandparents that is living. He will tell you that no one from Sicily really knows what being Sicilian means. And that is my point – and my problem, and my pleasure. Any one of these people could be mixed from any other culture of the world. My love of of God and Judaism comes from my heart, what I have read in Torah and the teachings and laws of these stories. Do I believe them all to be true, does it matter what tribe I am from? It upsets me when I am asked - “Charanis, is that Saphartic?” It’s a test, a hidden probe of validity. Maybe, maybe not. I am what I am…I believe what I believe…
Greeks (Charanis):
Grandpa was directly from Limnos, Greece – an island not far from Turkey
Grandma’s ancestors are from Sparta, but from Main, USA
Italians (Capizzi):
Grandpa’s parents came from Sicily and surrounding islands.
Jews (Waldman):
Grandma’s parents came from Hungary
Wandering Eastern-European Jews could and probably did come from Mesopotamia originally, or fled form Spain or traveled from Greece. They could have been Jews in the land of Israel or what was Israel occupied by first Greeks, then Romans, then German Crusaders, then English Crusaders, then they finally (having enough) left and traveled north. They could have intermarried during the Greek Empire, Roman Empire or Byzantine Empire. They could have thrived under the Ottoman Empire and practiced Judaism all the while the Moslems built their culture and power. They could have been silent Jews during the inquisition and fled after; or, powerful Jews in the Holly Roman Empire or Germanic Kingdoms handling the money for the royals because good Christians didn’t do that. Maybe they had latched on to Alexander as he marched through Asia from Persia and stayed in what is now Hungary. Maybe a Jewish princess married a Greek warrior in Alexander’s army, convinced him that there was only one God and settled in for marriage and babies and life as it has been lived in a nuclear family for millions of years.
Sicilians living on the islands off of the tip of ‘the boot’ were also people of the sea. Through history they have lived under the rule of Greeks, Romans, North Africans, Arabs – whoever took their ships to this land and saw the beautiful beaches or mined the marble and pumice and said – this is for me. These were strong people with an unmatched survival mentality. They took the gods of the Greeks, then the Romans, then the God of the Germans who embraced Roman Catholic Church built from a crumbling empire revived as the Holly Roman Empire split from the Byzantine Empire. Perhaps a Greek sailor from an island in the Aegean or a Jew from the land of Israel boarded a ship and landed in Sicily. Perhaps a daughter of a Greek soldier in Sparta fed up with the oppressive colony culture of that city stowed away on a trading ship to Sicily. Perhaps this daughter and that sailor married because they were both people of the world with a common spirit; the spirit that draws any man and woman together – to live, to love and to build a family.
Greeks in Sparta were strong willed and relentless fighters. The colony-mentality of the Spartans thought as a unit, freedom was freedom from choice. Resources for the common good were gained through power and war. Needs were – well, “Spartan” and goals were basic and focused. The Athenians had the deep thinkers and politicians that discussed all matters of great importance and fought wars with the Spartans and other city-states until all resources, solutions and eventually their young men were exhausted. Not so different then our country and the Arabs?
Greeks of the islands were the People of the Sea in many historica texts and biblical stories. They could have been from Troy, Turkey, Asia Minor or Greece. It all depends on the time and place in history. What I do know is that I felt very comfortable sitting on a patio at a bar in Lemnos sipping coffee and talking philosophy with a complete stranger. Turkes, Greeks or misplaced people from Crete - This is the stuff of Homer. The Greeks in the Aegean were people of the sea. They traveled to the coast of Egypt during biblical times, and Turkey (Troy) during the time of Odysseus. They left soldiers and settlers everywhere. They joined forces with the Athenians and eventually the Mesopotamians under Alexander. The Greeks conquered all of eastern Asia, Eastern Europe, and yes Sicily. Alexander took it further east to Persia and Israel. Any one of these people I have described were all a part of this same Greek culture under Alexander’s Empire and could have met at any point in history.
So I am my own culture – it is a powerful story and a common thread to what is common among all of us. Humanity is the act of living, loving, traveling, growing and gaining. Most of all it is a faith in the future, a desire to grow and know. Know what makes things go. Know what makes things as they are. It is human to wonder and it is human to recognize greatness. There are so many things about life that create the desire to know what could possibly be behind it all. The idea that this is one big accident is fathomable but unlikely. The idea that we know right from wrong and that evil exists to be confronted and controlled through a faith in the future. This for me is the essence of my faith in one God and one force of nature. I do not want to cloud it with idols or kings or spiritual leaders. I do not need to base this faith on identified miracles and individuals who were spontaneously born or possessed to change and control a culture.
This is the only part of my discontent as a Jew. This is why I shy away from the culture of my Jewish heritage; because it is not the same for me. My culture is a blend of all that we know of history in the lands surrounding the Mediterranean Sea. When people ask me if I’m a Jew I say yes – I practice Judaism as it is the one religion that I can find enough of a connection to God as a force of nature and the one truth of humanity. The truth is that we should just be nice, simply follow the golden rule. So it is not because my grandmother’s people were genetically Jewish – it is because of the underlying message that resonates thorough every story in the Torah and the teachings it has spawned.
As Hillel stated on one foot under the skepticism of one who had not studied – “That which is hurtful to you don’t do to others. The rest is commentary, now go study.†This is the underlying message I want to be in the back of my head when I make any decision, teach my children, go about my work or play with others. It is not enough to follow the rules or follow your dreams – we live and depend on others and as long as there is that interdependence there must be that one key rule. That rule is God; it is our conscious and our guide. It is the spirit that spawned our ability to grow and conquer the world. It is not war and hatred that create but cooperation and love that make people and allow them to survive. It is so simple and yet so hard to follow. That is why there is a Torah, a God and what we call Religion. It is a look from your mother, a guiding hand from your father, an kiss from your wife or husband and a hand from your fellow man.
So I am not a Jew simply because my people came from an ancient tribe in Israel, I am a Jew because it was a gift given to me by my Grandmother on my thirteenth birthday in the form of the poem “IF†and the logic and reason I have learned by studying Torah.
Where do friends come from? As a 40 year old man. Ask a 40 year old woman. Ask a “breadwinner†or ask a “single mom.†Ask a kid or a teenager. Ask a retired colonel or a retired grandmother.
Different friends at different times. Different circumstances created different relationships. Do we realize that some people have different opportunities?
So where do my friends come from and how do I make friends differently then others. Why am I so wide open with my heart on my sleeve and my interest in others? I haven’t really made my own friends for many years. The last time I made new, close friends was just after college and in the first few years of work. Since then most come from my children’s friend’s parents. Many from my wife’s friend’s husbands. From my circumstance at work but that is rare. Consider how much time I spend on the road – no real time to build an office relationship. Consider how much time I spend in the evenings with my family – no time for happy hour. Consider how much time I spend with my family on the weekends – no time to see ballgames or play golf.
Not sad really – there is no way to explain the satisfaction of a full house (there are five of us) unless you already know. Then it’s a knowing smile. Here is what I have learned though – and it has been a part of the way I do get to know people when I meet them. It is the reason you know me as soon as you meet me. No time for games, false impressions, fictional accomplishments or carefully crafted images. I am what I am because I may not see you again. Every day on the road (as a salesman covering much of the mid-west) I meet new people. These are the social circumstances I have and I try and make the most of them. Why not. Why not ask them about their hopes and dreams – maybe they will ask about mine. Maybe we will talk about nothing or everything that matters.
And the friends I have kept over the years – the ones from high school, the ones from college. The ones from my first job, the ones from past sales and sales-calls. These all started that way and there was a click, a moment, an open mind and open heart. A desire to know about the other, to help in some intangible way. Sometimes its one sided and sometimes it reverses – years later. The key with most of my friends that has always brought comfort is that the real friends know I will call from time to time and when I ask about them I really want to know. When we talk it is as if it was just yesterday we shared a beer or simple experience. There is a look in the eye, a knowing smile or a pregnant pause on the telephone that says “damn its good to hear your voice, give me a minute I’m remembering a time – a good time in the past we shared.
